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2000 German Grand Prix – Mystery Science Theater F1


2000 was a big year. The turn of the millenium, the Y2K bug. Michael Schumacher was champion again after 5 years, and I watched my first ever Formula One race. This very one, in fact. The championship was highly contested between Ferrari and McLaren, and going into the German Grand Prix, things would be no different. Qualifying was pretty eventful, being run under damp, rainy weather. The top 6 were Coulthard, Schumacher, Fisichella, Hakkinen, de la Rosa and Trulli. Barrichello had problems with an oil leak, and was only just managed to qualify 17th. *Matt sighs in disappointment* It’s tough being a Brazilian fan. (Darrell Eastlake): And I must say, AJ (Alan Jones) it’s good to have you back, I was very lonely last week. (Alan Jones): Well, it’s good to be back, Daz. (DE): You’ve stopped leaking? (AJ): Yes, I- Oh that’s nice! I-Inner ear infection, let’s clear that one up straight away. DE: *chuckles* Australia. Banterrific 24/7. (DE): Jacques Villeneuve has taken your advice in staying with BAR for a further 3 years. (AJ): Yeah, I think, (stutters) absolutely the correct thing to do because I mean, as I’ve said before, (AJ): Honda will inevitably give him a very, very powerful engine, they’ve never been short of horsepower, (AJ): uh, and I think he’ll end up at the right car and the right engine at the right time. Shut up, what do you know about right decisions, Mr. Can’t-Stay-Retired? Everywhere this series goes, Williams fucks up, you can’t run away from it. (DE): McLaren are developing a new device that will banish the need of cockpit instruments (DE:) by displaying the information onto the drivers’ helmet visors. Wows, Star Wars, here we go. Oh, these engineers, they think of the craziest things. Next up we’re gonna have cars that drive themselves. The 2000 German Grand Prix is go and McLaren pulls a beautiful swap-a-roo of Hakkinen jumping from 4th to 1st, and Coulthard covering Michael Schumacher. But it’s madness on turn 1 as Michael Schumacher hits Fisichella! And the crowd goes verrückt! Meanwhile Trulli goes into 3rd, then de la Rosa is 4th, followed by Irvine in 5th and Herbert in 6th, just passing Villeneuve. It’s crazy after crazy in here. Look at that man, look at how good he is! He’s gonna be the next Ayrton Senna. Like father, like son. Sometimes. (Murray Walker): -but a lot of the cynics will be saying that’s Michael Schumacher’s comeuppance. (MW): He’s had payback time for the things they’ve been blaming him for in the recent past. Breaking his legs the year before in Silverstone wasn’t enough, you sadists! How do you not catch up to the Jaguar? IT’S A COSWORTH, DAMMIT! Beware of strange objects above the forest. It could be the aliens going after Mazzacane. (MW): Barrichello could get past the Orange™ Arrows there of Jos Verstappen, the Dutchman, (MW): who was not in very good odor this morning because in the warmup he drove into Jacques Villeneuve’s BAR. Very much like son. The gears are grinding, the cogs are cracking! (MW): I think Pedro de la Rosa is absolutely magnificent, the young Spaniard. Well he’s 29 years old. Nowadays, if you’re 29 in F1, you might as well be in a nursing home. Step by step, Barrichello clobbers the rest! (MW): James Allen? (James Allen): Murray, you saw the Ferrari mechanics there with their heads in their hands, (JA): completely contrasting reaction at McLaren- If James Allen moved up from the pits to the com box, then why didn’t Ted Kravitz? *stammering* Actually, don’t answer that question; it’s better he stays there. No Cosworth shall stand its ground before the mighty Sambador! Behold the power! The FURY! (Martin Brundle): So Barrichello has a very fast Ferrari, but how much fuel does he have on board? (MW): Yeah, exactly. Oh shit, fuel was a thing back then, right? Ah, doesn’t matter, Barrichello’s going fast and doing good. Take it easy boy, I mean man. The similarities won’t stop coming! (MW): This is the V10 Ferrari engine versus the Supertec engine V10 in the Arrows. (slurred) Oooooh, V10. Sweet, sweet sweep. (MW): You are watching a truly, truly, great, great drive by Rubens Barrichello- Help me, I can’t tell if it’s a pun or not! Herbert picks the smart decision and retires because British “racing” green, my ass. (MW): What’s going through David Coulthard’s mind, Martin? (Scottish accent) Multi 21, Mika. David is faster than you. Red is faster than everybody else and that’s why it’s my favorite color. This just came to me… how was THIS allowed to happen? The Silver Pair from the West has no idea what the Scarlet One from Marlboro has in store for them. Better not fuck this up. Good. *Stand By Me, by Oasis, plays* FUUUUUCK OFFFFF! What an enthusiastic crowd! Johnny walks off into the distance, making his way to the commentators’ farm. (MB): Not a great afternoon for the Williams BMW team. When is it ever great for Williams? If you knew them from this series, you’d think they’re miserable. Quick swing! Villeneuve used up all of his talent in this overtake, because you can see he ran out of it afterwards. Shit. SHIT! What the fuck? What are you doing? You’re saving the race! Yes! Come on, go at it numbnuts! YES! YES! This whole thing just got flipped upside down! THE MADNESS NEVER ENDS! Look at all the hell breaking loose! This is nuts! If this were in Rio, they would’ve gunned him down before even stopping the car. That’s one way to fuck up a good race. Just like me in Motorsport Manager. As if it couldn’t get any better, take a look at that- *SURPRISE AIRHORN* (MB rambles on) Fuuuuuck me up, fam, Jesus! Here lies Germany’s hopes, destroyed. Just like in 1945. What a lovely day this is turning out to be. And away we go again! Ooh, this is gonna get freaky! It’s cloudy up and down in here! Lay it down, you scarlet beast! Ralf Schumacher goes around! And the crowd sure doesn’t seem too fussed about it. I’m running out of ways to say how crazy this race is! Now it’s Diniz and Alesi crashing into each other! Oh, pf, AH! The marshal runs after the tyre with the power of the speed force, in order to avoid another safety car. Good job. Fuck me, I spoke too soon. Well, at least it was quick. What the fu- -cking BITCH! Like a kind of magic it’s *POOF*. German efficiency. Oh shit, oh shit, it’s coming down! (MW): Look at the rain! Look at the rain! Look at the rain! It’s insane! It’s insane! It’s insane! Not even FOM can handle it, they’re getting the short circuit! (MB): Blown engine, big blown engine for- (MW): It’s Gene. (MB): Gene, is it? Yeah. I can’t make fun of things I can’t see, this isn’t a radio show. It’s like Monaco 1984 in reverse. (MB): And still the BAR- (MW): That’s Villeneuve and Zonta! (MW): Zonta has hit Jacques Villeneuve, who pirouettes through 360 degrees time and time again . (MW): Brilliantly keeps the engine running and accelerates away just as Ralf Schumacher, in 12th position gets past him, and Eddie Irvine has done a 180 as well, and look at this! (MW): They’re gonna come pouring into the pits now! FUCKING FINALLY! Now we can finally watch as Gene proceeds to raise the haze. That’s not quite the way I pictured it. I got that one right, though. Wait, so that’s Hakkinen in the pits which means that- *gasp* YES!!! (MB): This is so confusing for the drivers, *interrupting airhorns* and they’ve gotta be careful. (MB): *airhorns still blaring* They lose a lot of tyre temperature through going slowly on the damp parts- Who needs V10s when we have airhorns? I bet it doesn’t feel nice to get stood up. Frentzen’s getting all cracked up outta shape! It’s a chain reaction, really. Cracko bingo! It’s stirring up again! It’s going nuts! Hi, Zonta. I NEED A STRAITJACKET! HUSH, HUSH, HASTE, HASTE, GOTTA TRY TO WIN THE RACE! More developments! *Matt spazzes out* So, more shit went down before the other shit happened. Yeah, that doesn’t help jack shit. Well, THERE’S an anti-climax for you. *Cool guitar* (MW): Lap 42 out of 45 I can hardly contain myself- That makes two of us. My boy would never let this happen! You bring shame to the name, Dadstappen! A lucky man he was, a lucky man he is, lucky forever will be. You look displeased. Good. Gaston, you bloody non…ce. Watch as Britain goes wild for the playboy rookie! (MW): He’s driving an absolute STORM of a race! Already used that one, no zing for you. This is it, people. Strap yourselves in and prepare your eardrums. And there he comes, through the last turn. Unbeaten! Unmatched! *Matt speaks Portuguese excitedly: Ele aponta na reta, pra vencer, lá vem ele!* RUBENS! RUBENS! RUBENS! RRRRRRRRRRRUBENS BARRICHELLO DO BRASIIIIIIIIIIIL! *Globo winner’s theme* *Brazilian National Anthem plays*

86 Comments

  1. LupusAries Author

    Hockenheim wurde getilkt! (Hockenheim has been tilked!) The old track was awesome.

    Well when you listen to an RML broadcast and they say about one of his tracks, that it is one of his less bad tracks……….says all.

    And I'm particularly disgruntled with him as I had my first major shunt in any racing Sim on his Sochi Track, the 90 degree Right Hander just before the Rolex Bridge (turn 14)………..went off in a Zonda R (which I normally don't like at all).
    Problems were, a lack of visual cues for that turn, plus the big asphalt runoff with no markings (or better gravel), and a low sun.
    Pretty much straight into the wall despite full braking, with around 230…….yeah the car was pretty wrecked, engine dead.

    Must say, I don't really like Sochi, has all the troubles of his tracks, especially that neverending left hander (the complex from turn 2-5), the insane ammount of hairpins and 90 degree corners.

    Feels like a disjointed mess with no proper flow, I honestly prefer the Sachsenring……..that could be a good replacer for Hockenheim.
    Edit: Oh right, that was one of his less bad tracks…..;) Seriously can't we get away from him?

    Reply
  2. Kimi #JB17 #TeamKick Author

    3:12 Why Michael Cole moved up from backstage interviewer to commentator and Lilian moved to ring announcer instead? Some questions will never be answered

    Reply
  3. Zoli Varga Author

    Probably his greatest drive among with Silverstone 2003 & Suzuka 2003. It was so glad to see that everyone was pleased by his first win.

    Reply
  4. Achmad Ramadhan Author

    after this i kinda want another brazilian drivers win again so we can hear your reaction and the music on your next videos

    Reply
  5. NULL SWEΔT Author

    I remember watching this race…
    Being 6 and not truly understanding motorsports, I rooted for Barrichello cause I am brazilian, and because my dad did too.
    Only now I understand what Barrichello must have felt during the podium and the anthem playing…
    You could have added the podium scene in this video, it's very emotional and I would have cried a lot more if I was in his place.

    Reply
  6. Eriq Affandi Author

    Commentator: LOOK AT THE RAIN !! LOOK AT THE RAIN !! LOOK AT THE RAIN !!

    Matt: IT'S INSANE !! IT'S INSANE !! IT'S INSANE !!

    Best quotes 😀

    Reply
  7. Trace Chmielewski Author

    If that idiot wouldn’t have ran out on the track, Hakkinen could maybe have been a 3 times world champion. Would have been nice. Instead we got the first year of the scarlet cockmister’s multi-year empire.

    Reply
  8. RACECAR Author

    My god, the end was great. I have to know what is that song playing when Ruben's crosses the line, its just amazing in the most 80s way imaginable.

    Reply
  9. PsyKotico Author

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAY!!!!! I'm watching your channel thinking "Ok, that's a British view from F1" … And then you scream "Rubens Barrichello do Brasil!!!" with no accents!?? WTF!!! Love it!!!!

    Reply
  10. Oliver Harris Author

    The End is fucking awesome 😂😂😂 much love for rubens ❤
    By the way this was also my first ever GP i watched and really fell in love with F1 … i was born in 93 …

    Reply

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