Amy, do you know how many girls are
going to be up your vagina next year? Every time I come to visit you, you’re going to be scissoring a different girl. Dude, scissoring is not a thing. -Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
-It’s not a thing. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. What if I don’t use my hands? You can make yourself cum using only your mind?
That’s like the one thing my mind can’t do. No, I use just other stuff. That little elephant? No! Stop! That weird crochet pig? My grandma gave me that! If you don’t tell me what it is, you know I’m gonna get- It’s the panda! It’s the panda, okay! What happened to her eye? That fell off way before anything happened between us. We missed out. We didn’t party because we wanted
to focus on school and get into good colleges. And it worked! We are not one-dimensional. We are smart and fun! Whoo! Excuse me! Oh, oh! We have to go to a party tonight. What? What took them four years, we are doing in one night! -No.
-Nope! -No, not acceptable.
-This is not okay. -Who allowed you to be this beautiful?
-Who allowed YOU to be this beautiful? Who allowed you to take my breath away? Prepare to get bashed! Not in like a violent way. Completely consensual bash. “Prepare to get consensually bashed” that’ll say. I’ll have them change it. This is drugs. Don’t move. Don’t inhale. -Ahhh!
-AHH! My, my, my. (inaudible screams) What the fuck is this? We ask the questions! Tonight is your night. Oh! You’re bringing Ling Ling! Oh, make her feel good. Make it stop. Please don’t put your face on the face. On the head! Make thy plans to attend the drama department’s summer
program, SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK-ing lot. It’s what we did in my summer program last
year in Barcelona, when I lived in Barcelona.