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Dad Jokes with Kratos

I am at terrified of elevators. I am going to start taking steps to avoid
them. That one’s pretty good [beautiful laughter] [cough] I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me. Why did they put a gate on Helheim? Because people were dying to get in. [sound of Stargate actor Christopher Judge enjoying dad jokes] Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they are shellfish, boy. What do you call a blind deer? No eye deer. [delightful chuckles] I don’t trust stairs. They are always up to something. What do dark elves learn in kindergarten? The elfabet. What, Atreus, is brown and sticky? A stick. [best laugh]
Kratos: Only fire when i tell you to fire. Atreus: I’m sorry. Kratos: Hi sorry, I am dad. [Applause and hugs]


  1. AKR Author

    A Serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's nose drips.

  2. Vutava Author

    I don't know, I still think his best joke is: "A Serpent Guard, a Horus Guard, and a Setesh Guard meet on a neutral planet. There is a moment of tension. The Serpent Guard's eyes gleam. The Horus Guard's beak glistens. The Setesh Guard's nose drips."

  3. The_Fringed_Israelite The_Fringed_Israelite Author

    The Spartans/ Lacedaemonians were men of the HEBREW ISRAELITE RACE (𐤉𐤔𐤓𐤀𐤋𐤉𐤌). They were Israelite men from the southern kingdom of Israel; Judah, Benjamin and Levi, not pale skinned, Edomite males.
    1 Maccabees 12:20-21 (KJVA)
    “Areus king of the Lacedaemonians to Onias the high priest, greeting: “It is found in writing, that the Lacedemonians (Spartans) and Jews (Israelites) are brethren, and that they are of the stock of Abraham:”


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