You know, most every tourist who comes to Hollywood thinks they’re going to see famous people when they get here. They go on these tours of the stars’ homes on the busses, and you know like unless Gary Busey wanders out on the lawn in his underpants, they don’t see anybody. But tonight they are going to see quite a few people. What you’re seeing here is a Hollywood Starline Tour Bus, there it is, down in Hollywood The people riding the bus think they’re on a regular tour and one of the stops on the tour is an exhibit. We told them they’re coming into this building to see a special exhibit of Oscar dresses and gowns. And in a way it’s true: they will see dresses and gowns, but they will be on people. So they don’t know it, but the moment they open the door, they’re gonna be on live TV and we’re gonna surprise them. Okay? I need all of your help with this. Does anyone know CPR? Denzel, you were on “St. Elsewhere” right? We’ll go to you. Let’s check in with our tour bus, which is up on the screen there, they are unloading. We hired that guy in the red hat. This is for real, we spent many weeks and thousands of dollars trying to figure out how to get this done, and in a few minutes those people are gonna walk through these doors right here. And if everyone stays perfectly still maybe we can make them think they’re at the wax museum. Now we have the tour bus riders outside the door. I guess they can’t hear us. They think they’re about to walk into an exhibit Do we have them on the screen? Let’s put them up on the screen. Okay there they are. Alright. Everybody be quiet, and let’s turn out the lights also, so we can really surprise them. And on the count of three, we’ll turn the lights on and everybody yell, Mahershala. Okay? Okay, Mahershala? Alright. Three, two, one. Mahershala! Hold on a second. Hello there. Hi. Welcome to the Dolby Theater. This is the home of the Academy Awards which are, in fact, happening right now. You are– what’s your– oh I see Gary is your name? Yes, my name is Gary Allen Coe, from Chicago. Where you from– oh you’re from Chicago?
Yes sir, yes sir. Yeah. You know we’re on TV so you don’t have to do that. I know, but I want to, I want to. Let me give you a little tour: this is Nicole Kidman. Hi Nicole. Fun fact: she was discovered in Redondo Beach at a Quiznos. This is Octavia, this is Ryan Gosling – he’s very handsome, don’t look into his eyes. Oh that’s nice, Ryan! Yes, yes, yes we have quite a few stars here. This is Emma Stone and her brother, Spencer! Emma brought her brother. I feel like you’re ignoring the white celebrities.
Yes I am though! Gary, is this your wife over here? Yeah! What’s your name? Vicki Vines. Hi Vicki, are you here with Gary? That’s my fiancé. Oh really, when are you getting married? July 18th. Who’s your favorite actor? That man right there. Denzel? Denzel. Denzel, would you be the best man at their wedding? Come on. Yeah that’s a good idea. I now pronounce you husband and wife. Kiss the bride. He’s Denzel, so it’s legal. There’s Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux. Jen, do you have a wedding gift for them? Maybe you could give them something from your purse. Justin, you give them something too, will ya? How about those sunglasses, Jen? You don’t need those, it’s dark. Alright, there we go. Isn’t that nice? Isn’t she the sweetest? There you go. Okay great. Well let me– there’s Meryl Streep. Overrated. Oh, you may be– Gary, Jackie, you may be surprised, you may be surprised to learn that this bearded gentleman is not a vagrant, he is in fact an Academy Award nominated actor. Wow! His name is Casey Affleck. Hi, Casey! Ignore the jerk behind him. We got… oh so many stars here. Oh hey do you want to touch a real life Oscar? Yes I do. Come over here. Mahershala has got– Mahershala, can they touch the Oscar? Alright yes, everybody just go ahead and rub the Oscar. Give it a little touch as you go through. That’s Jeff Bridges. Isn’t that nice? Hi guys, what’s your favorite Jeff Bridges movie? I like all of them! I can’t think of one right now! I’m sorry, I know, this is surprising, yes. There, touch Mahershala’s Oscar. Guillermo will take you through. Hi Guillermo. Yes hi how are you? Just go ahead right through and touch Mahershala’s Oscar. Don’t worry. Yes, it’s new, it’s fresh. Hi there, hi everybody, welcome, welcome. What happened to the other ones? Hey we got a traffic jam back there, come on! Next stop is Jason Bateman’s house! Okay? Jason is the code still 1-9-8-7? Okay. That’s the year “Teen Wolf 2” came out so he’s very– come on guys! Alright there we go, yes just this way. Jason won’t be home for at least four and a half hours, so go ahead into his home and relax. Hi how are you, what’s your name? My name is Yulery. What?! Your name’s Yulery? Yeah. Rhymes with jewelry. Well I know it rhymes with Jewelry! Wow that’s some name, and what’s your name? My name is Patrick. See, that’s a name. Alright, alright. Well just go right ahead through, thank you for coming. I hope this is a good part of your tour. Oh it’s your honeymoon! Yeah we just got married two weeks ago. Oh I know some people who got married by Denzel Washington. Oh he wasn’t available. Yeah, yeah, okay well maybe one of the celebrities on the end will marry you. Thank you so much. Thanks Neil, yes go ahead right through. Hi Evan, how are you? Shelly, how you doin? How are you, Pete? Thank you very much. Alright well there you go. So that concludes our tour.