Articles, Blog

The Hidden Meaning in Spider-Man: Homecoming – Earthling Cinema

Greetings, and welcome to Earthling Cinema. I am your host, Garyx Wormuloid. This week’s artifact is Spider-Man Homecoming,
starring Tom Hollandaise Sauce, and praised by fans as the installment that bravely made
Aunt May hot. The film follows teenage Earthling, Peter
Parker, who is hashtag blessed with sticky hand powers. One day, Peter fights for playboy billionaire,
Elon Musk, in the Civil War. But before Elon can Ulysses S. Grant him a
spot on the Avengers, Peter has to prove himself by just sort of “stopping crime” with
no clear deadlines or goals. “Hey, is this anybody’s bike?” Fortunately, a garbage man named Toomes has
been busy repurposing recycling to sell artisan weapons on Etsy and dressing like a bird,
spiders’ sworn enemies, behind waterspouts. At school, Peter spends his time macking on
his crush, Liz, chillin’ with his obligatorily fat friend, Ned, and macking on his crush,
Liz, while chilling with obligatorily fat friend, Ned. After school, he looks for crime only to find
New York City is too safe. “Everybody good?” That is, until Toomes’s men forgot their
pin number and have to use a ray gun. They escape, but Peter does manage to blow
up a deli. Peter slings back home where Ned learns Peter’s
deepest secret: he still plays with Legos. Oh, and he’s Spiderman. That too. When Ned coyly implies Peter knows Spider-Man,
— “Peter knows Spider-man!” — they score tickets to Liz’s weeknight rager. But the party is cut short when Toomes men
sell guns to Childish Gumby. Peter mixes it up by using all the same tactics
and gets dropped on his head like my son. Relax, he was a baby. Armed with a 9th grade education, Ned and
Peter decrypt a doodad, and geolocate Toomes to Washington D.C., the criminal capital of
the universe. Peter gets a rematch with Birdman, but ends
up in an Amazon Prime Warehouse, where he hits it off with his OS, Samantha. “So, where would you like to take me tonight?” “It’s really nice to have someone to talk
to.” Speaking of hitting it off, Ned turns the
doodad into a bomb causing an explosion in the monument to Washington’s penis. Peter saves his classmates, heroically costing
the taxpayer millions. Back in the Big Apple store, Parker interrogates
Childish Gumby without a warrant, since this is America. He tells him to check the ocean bus, where
Toomes goes rip ship. Elon glues the ship back together, but takes
back his suit, leaving Peter to walk home naked. Peter asks Liz to Homecoming — Get it? Of, course you don’t — but when he gets
to her house, a shocking Pepsi Twist is revealed: Birdman is Liz’s Dad, who’s anti-Spider
and pro-gun. Since it’s Act Three, Peter decides to stop
Birdman’s latest scheme: robbing an airplane full of Avengers merch. Toomes tries the old “I’m going to drop
a building on your face” trick, but Peter remembers he has super strength, and thwarts
his plan by crashing the plane into an area full of tourists. Having utterly wrecked Liz’s life, Peter
says goodbye. Elon offers Peter a job at Telsa, but Peter
declines. Oh yeah, Aunt May was in this. Spiderman: Homecoming marries the superhero
action genre and the teen comedy genre with a license it got online. The film is stylized like John Hughes joints,
both through homages to Ferris Bueller Doesn’t Go to College, Pretty in Pinko, and The One
About Breakfast, and through its themes of teenagers exploring identity, romance, and
hats. “It gives me confidence.” Through the lens of a kid growing up, the
film updates the Sony Spiderman ethos — “With great power comes great responsibility.” — and ten more reboots. Usually, this is interpreted as meaning that
since Peter has great power, he has the obligation to use it for the utmost good of society. But Homecoming inverts this by questioning
whether the young Peter is responsible enough to wield great power. “Could I do anything? What do you want me to do?” “I think you’ve done enough.” In the beginning, Peter is impulsive and fails
to think through the consequences of his use of power, not so different from the criminals
who sell nuclear weapons to people without conducting a background check. He considers using his power for frivolous
means, such as crashing Liz’s party as Spiderman for the gram, and jailbreaking his suit before
reading up on Windows Vista. His “father figure” Elon has to repeatedly
swoop in and clean up his mess, usually in a Tesla, ultimately taking away his suit so
he can dry clean it. It’s only when Peter realizes that his actions
make things explode all the time that he grows up, ironically realizing he is not ready to
wield such power. Until the sequel, Spider-Man: Home Depot. In a note of intertextual irony, Michael Keaton
appears as a avian villain on the heels of 2014 Oscar darling, Birdman: Or, The Unexpected
Value of Shooting Off Your Nose. In it, Keaton’s character falls into obscurity
after starring in a superhero franchise, much as Keaton did after his starring role in Badman. Although who could forget Jack Frost? Literally every human after they lobotomized
it from their brains. This role becomes an ironic completion of
Birdman, implying that the film made Keaton relevant enough to return to lucrative franchises
and play the underdog to mega-stars like Robert Downey Jr. and sixteen-time Oscar winner,
Zendaya. For Earthling Cinema, I’m Garyx Wormuloid.


  1. Wisecrack Author

    Howdy, Wisecrack! In response to your comments, YES — Earthling Cinema is moving to its own channel, Alien's Guide. We are posting new episodes to both channels to make sure everyone is aware of the move. The next upload will probably be the last one on the Wisecrack channel, so be sure to subscribe to Alien's Guide to catch all the future ones! ►►

  2. Siddharth Nair Author

    How can Tony Stark be Elon Musk if Elon exists in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? He shows up in Iron Man 2 in Monaco when Tony enters the Hotel De Paris

  3. Michelle L Author

    A fuck you to the fans of MJ in the there clear message this is not MJ , That was the message. The funny thing is its kinda true people did ask and they made it very clear we said MJ to make it clear there is no MJ anymore. I do kinda like her as she is a cross of a crack head and Mizore Shirayuki from Rosario + V.mpire , They need Real MJ+Her,

  4. DOAMA Author

    That part about slaves though… Cringy AF. It was completely unnecessary and added nothing to the story.

    Also, they made MJ a Black lesbian… For some reason.


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *